TEnsion..!!!! Ass&$&%*&%* &%&$%^$

Treat Others as you want others to treat you....
Aku berpegang kepada itu... kenapa 'others' itu tak paham mengenai perasaan aku ini...
Apa,, aku ni ingat takde perasaan ke? suka2 jerk nak tengking2 orang.. nak marah2 orang.. nak buat cam aku takde perasaan... bukan sekali... aku dah terus terang pun masih begitu cara dia treat aku?
apa? ingat aku ni patung ke? nak perkotak katikkan?
Sabar aku pun ada limit juga.. selagi aku boleh sabar aku saabar.. selagi aku boleh diam aku diam.... tapi bila aku dah sampai limit... sendiri mau ingat aaa....

Suprise Birthday Party...

Owh.. I wish to suprise Hubby with Surprise Birthday Party.... Harap2 jadila ek. :)
- Secret Resipi -checked
- Pressie -checked
- Card - checked
- What else???? (suggestions?)

Ladies time out...

Yesterday I went out with Fit, my university friend yang sama2 suka and duka...
We went for 25/27 jam kredit just for sake of nak grad tepat tepat 3 years...
Akhirnya alhamdulillah kami berjaya GRAD on time with 2nd class upper.. Wow.. :)
We talked and we laughed. We went shopping, eating, drinking, loitering and window shopping.....
We talk about our life right now, we talk about our life in future and also in past...We laughed about ourselves!!
How about our career? what we wanted to be in next 5, 10 or maybe 30 years?
Also.. what life would be...
May we have great and wonderful future.. inshaAllah...
Fit, Wish you luck in every thing that you do... Thank you very much for the day... I am glad I have friend like you.

Happy 2 Month Birthday

Che Nur Syazwani Mohd Zaki

Sihat selalu yaa...

Love,

Ummi & Ayah

Quarter life crisis

Being early 20's, mid 20's or late 20's is period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence. It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

1. One could feel "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level. You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
E.g of mine, I'm doing Bioinformatics for my first degree and now I'm ended up with doing Administration and PR in one of PLC's company. 2 totally different field which Bioinformatics: lab is the ground to pursue and only few times to make relations with people. In contrast of Administration and PR, what I need to face in day to day is How to manage people, how to overcome problem with people etc besides Finance, Procurement, Asset Management, Fleet Management, General Office Administration. I have to start from A to Z and also at the same time have to manages subordinate which is older than me.
Career confusion of what am I gonna be in the next 5 to 10 years.People will always ask, what you wish to do in ur future? Me of being me, how should I know what should I do. Should I pursue to be a General Manager or CEO of company or just to be a successfull housewive with business? I guess for now I will be like sand in the wind to be blow whereever and survive where I've landed.
I sometimes feel insecurity regarding the near future, insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals, insecurity regarding present accomplishments, sometimes disappointment with making job done.

2. Nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life.

E.g. Loss of closeness to high school and college friends sometimes disturbed me. As everyone else should have 'close friend' or should I say 'geng'. I do miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis (as I was in asrama for many years). Breakfast, lunch, dinner even supper together gether, shopping together, doing activity together, picnic, going to college dinner, and etc together. But then I realize that maybe we have our own different path of life and we need to go for it.

3. You feel alone and scared and confused.
E.g Losing someone that is close and have deep impact in my life is really hurt and cuts deep insude. Sometimes when lonely I do cry when remembering all the memories together and also to release the pain. I do feel like I'm alone and no one in this world could comfort me as he do. I try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where I am or move forward.
To pay full attention to what I have ie Hubby, my dearest daughters, Mama and families. Make them proud of who I am and also focus to be happy now and here after.

4. I'm beginning to understand myself and what I want and do not want. My opinions have gotten stronger. I see what others are doing and find myself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that I have certain boundaries in my life and add things to my list of what is acceptable and what is not, what hubby like me. I am insecure and then secure. I laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. I am being more and more matured in day to day.

5. Boredom with social interactions.
I sometimes bored with being not socialize 'anymore'. What i mean of socialize is not like doing bad things but doing fun time together with friends anymore. I miss 'tengok wayang together2', eat lots of calories without feeling guilty, girls night out and etc.
Suddenly I realize that I have commitment and needs to focus on religion, family and work.

6. Worries about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
Sometimes or I would say "seldomly" I have financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)

7. Owh and last one is "a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you"

Alhamdulillah

Syukur ke Allah SWT kerana telah mengurniakan kesihatan kepada seluruh keluargaku..

C N Syazwani sudahpun keluar daripada hospital 13/3/2009 lepas.
Alhamdulillah kencing dia clear and infection dah takde setelah dibuat "culture test". Now, she's on medication and minggu ni kena jumpa Dr Lee balik for follow up.

You are a great girl sayang.. Kuat ya..

Demam ooo Demam.. Kebah cepat ya..

My Newborn child : Che Nur Syazwani M Zaki is in hospital (KSH). High fever 39.2celcius when in Klinik Rantau PETRONAS..Syazwani kena amik darah.. kecian dia nangis, ummi pun nangis gak.. Dr refer to PAED specialist at Kuantan sbb white blood count tinggi and we know she had duplex system...
This is the first time being me dgn anak yg demam. Thank GOD Syahirah (1st) kuat and tak nah demam... Syukur...
At KSH, we went to ER (emergency room) sbb ahad cuti. skali lg syazwani kena cucuk for letak drip plak tapi dr tuh tak dapat buat(vein kecik katanya, dahlah 2 tpt. sib baik hubby yg ada, if I am there, mau aku sepak jerk dr tuh.. sakit ok, syazwani siap nangis2 Super diper punya.. ni plak budak kecik).
Then checked in bilik 110 and kena cucuk drip skali lg (skejap je Dr Lee buat), amik darah n kencing..
Air kencing:
Clear (alhamdulillah) except ada protein sket (biasa kata dr sbb kalu kita sakit mmg kencing ada protein),
Darah :
hemoglobin rendah (ni mmg ngikut Ummi dia sbb ummi dia mmg slalu x ckp darah) tapi bleh ok dgn mkn supplement.
Kiranya sumer clearlah.. Alhamdulillah..
Because of Duplex System, Dr Lee (Syazwani's Paed) takes extra precaution to warded her at least 3 days...after 3 days, kena amik darah n air kencing lg. If takde infection ok, if ada kena amik antibiotik selama 7 days..
Harap2 semua clear and takde infection...
So... here I am terkurung and "internet"ing (thanks hubby bawakan lappy and beli Celcom WIFI)... Takdela boring sgt and hope to siapkan PPA before dateline 11 march ni...

Get well soon my lovely baby syazwani... Ayah and Ummi nk Syazwani sihat and ceria semula yaa... Dapat balik jumpa KakLong...

Ya Allah, sihatkanlah anakku ini, permudahkan semua dan sembuhkanlah penyakit ini...

Syazwani, You are my sunshine... Kuat ya... Sihat cepat2 ya, sayang...